I was duly forewarned about unsolicited advice that would come my way during pregnancy and I have been fully prepared to deal with outdated methods and suggestions that don’t necessarily match my and my husband’s parental plans.

What I was not expecting was to be inundated with and thoroughly annoyed by how people feel the need to tell us that our natural instincts will take over,  in response to our attendance at child care class.

“Don’t worry, your natural instincts will take over.”

Really?  Then, hey, why don’t I just labor here on the couch during a Murder She Wrote marathon, and let my natural birthing instincts take over.  Because, after all, we are animals and most species go the birthing route unaided by nurses and epidurals.  They just squat and pop a litter out.

Oh, no, no, that makes no sense.

However, when it comes to caring for an infant and learning to adapt to their needs, THAT is when people feel it appropriate to suggest I should leave it up to my natural instincts.  Because, I mean, you never hear about women having difficulty with breast feeding or how a dad can be overwhelmed by his first time changing a diaper.  Learning how to clean, wipe, powder and attach a diaper to your child dates back to the prehistoric age where our instincts are based, right?

Yeah, not so much.  I don’t believe cavemen had Pampers.

It’s called learned behavior.  Meaning you have to learn it somewhere, either from a family member, friend, or an expert, such as our doula.


Did you know that talc baby powder is now deemed BAD for children and adults?  It’s a total no go.  It’s linked to chronic respiratory issues and ovarian cancer.  Did you know that 7 years ago, it was discovered that the polymer in disposable diapers had absorbed into the scrotal sack of many infant boys, wrapped around their testes and caused them to not drop?  Companies were forced to change their diaper make up. Or were you aware that new studies have shown that in the first 3 months of life, when a boy is exposed to cold wipes and pees himself, it is due to his brain sending a survival message because it thinks he’s dying?  So now they actually suggest that you get a wipe warmer for him until those months pass.

If you didn’t know, then maybe you should come to class with us next time.




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